Day 2 post transfer

Sunday, November 23, 2014

I've had the same crampy feelings today as I did yesterday. Again, I'm imagining the embryos grabbing on and trying to dig in. The Google machine tells me that this is what it feels like.

The cold still sucks. I CANNOT BREATHE. I feel like my sinuses might explode. I'm so glad we were able to start this over a weekend so that Jake could be home to take care of my whiny butt. I did read something else about it possibly being a good thing that my immune system was low at the time of transfer. I guess the rationale is that my body would be less likely to notice a foreign substance since it was otherwise occupied, and our little embryos might have a nice, quiet, undisturbed implantation. Pretty sure it was probably not from the most reliable source, but I'll take anything I can get that gives me hope.

I keep thinking, I can't believe they're actually IN there. I mean, of all the times we tried, I never knew if anything was there or not, but now they're actually IN there. It's so weird to think of. They were alive when we put them in. Are they still? I try to channel positive thoughts down to them. I put my hand where I feel the cramps and wonder if it helps or hurts or doesn't do anything at all. I don't know what they're DOING in there. Are they implanting? Are they continuing to grow? Are they fighting over the best spot in my uterus? Or are they doing nothing and it wasn't meant to be? Were they not strong enough and they won't make it? Am I imagining them implanting for nothing? I am starting to be a little terrified of our blood test on the 3rd. I am so afraid it's going to come back negative, and so afraid to hope for a positive.