Day 7 post transfer

Friday, November 28, 2014

I went shopping today and it was SO NICE to get out of the house on such a pretty day. Mid 60s, sunny blue skies, and green palm trees everywhere. :) I didn't find too may super amazing deals, but I also didn't do my research nor did I get up at the crack of dawn like all the other crazies.

Maybe it was because I was busy all day, but I didn't really feel any cramping today. I didn't really feel anything at all all day. Should I feel SOMETHING? I dont know... but I feel like something should feel different...? I feel too... normal. I'm even eating somewhat like a normal person again.

I maybe could technically pee on a stick tomorrow if I wanted to. I WANT to, but I don't want to. If I were on a normal cycle, I THINK I would be roughly 13 days past ovulation. I made my appointment today for my blood test - 8am Wednesday the 3rd. I already told Jake he's going to have to answer my phone when the doctor calls with the news that night... I can't take it. I already can't even handle the thought of them telling me it's negative.

Day 6 post transfer

Thursday, November 27, 2014

Happy Thanksgiving! We had a nice quiet Thanksgiving here, just the 2 of us. Jake was in charge of the turkey and potatoes and I did the stuffing and gravy. Who needs veggies, ha. Everything was really good and of course we stuffed ourselves to the point of being uncomfortable. We got to Skype with our families and all 3 of our funny little nieces after dinner and ended the night with some Home Alone 2. Good day!

Yesterday I was not feeling like I was starving all day like I have been recently. Today my appetite seemed to be completely back to normal and I didn't really feel hungry at all. Figures... I was really looking forward to taking advantage of my super hungriness for Thanksgiving! But I couldnt even finish what was on my plate. My belly is not used to potatoes or stuffing and filled up fast. So we'll see what happens tomorrow.

Just a few very minor cramping feelings today but much less than the past few days. I was feeling more energetic today and actually wanted to be up and moving around in the kitchen. I figured being domestic can only help. ;)

So can the fact that it's now OFFICIALLY Christmas Season! I'm hoping all of the holiday cheer will also work its magic. These little blasties just need some Christmas Spirit!! We've made it super Christmasy at our place and the only thing missing is our tree! We're hoping to go pick one out next weekend. Tomorrow I think I am going to attempt a little Black Friday shopping. Wish me luck!

I want to drink that gravy, if was sooo good.

Day 5 post transfer

Wednesday, November 26, 2014

Today I spent the whole day on the sofa bed, editing all of these posts and typing much of it from memory. So, there went my day. But I didn't have to work and I got some Phin snuggles and inhaled a bunch of yummy Chex, so it's been a good day overall. The crampies are back today, just a few times throughout the day, but a couple of them were a little stronger than what I've been feeling recently and felt a little more like period cramps. It still only lasted like 30 seconds though. According to my little chart I found the other day, implantation should be complete today. So I don't know if still feeling cramps is good or bad.

Today is the last official day of "bedrest" and I can actually say that I did rest in my (sofa) bed all day. My cold is all but gone, but I do feel a little residual blah-ness that hopefully goes away by tomorrow. I want to enjoy my Thanksgiving dinner and be able to smell and taste it!

I do want to share our new and improved "disaster area" in our apartment where a closet SHOULD be but is not. It looks wayyyy better, and now I actually have some surface area for some of my Christmas decorations! Including my Nativity, which I've been without for the past 3 Christmases in a row because there was absolutely no room for it in our tiny little apartment in Kissimmee. So yay! I kind of had to cram some other unrelated stuff on there as well, as this is pretty much my only spot, so don't mind the reindeer or the German smokers crashing Jesus's birthday party.

Before

After

Day 4 post transfer

Tuesday, November 25, 2014

This morning I woke up feeling different. I didn't feel as cloudy or as crabby as I have been. I actually had a little bit of energy. I told Jake, "I think the embryos died. I don't feel crabby anymore." As if I need to feel crabby to be pregnant. Haha. Maybe it's my cold lifting. That would be fantastic. But I do have to be careful about doing too much too soon. I'm really bad at that.

For most of the morning I wrapped gifts and organized my new craft cabinet. I was trying to ignore my ever persistent hunger and then finally ate lunch around 12:30-1:00 or so. As I finished lunch, I got the weirdest feeling. I started feeling really lightheaded and my head felt like it was buzzing or humming or something. It was really weird. I thought, Ok, time to lay down now. It lasted for about 15 minutes or so and then eventually went away. I don't know if I waited too long to have lunch or what, or maybe I was too active this morning. So naturally I went straight to Google for answers. When I do this, I tend to look for one of two things: either the answer I want, or the answer that tells me I'm dying. Or in this case, my babies. Straight to worst case scenario: first I looked for symptoms of early miscarriage. I swore I've heard of those feelings before in a very early miscarriage. When I didn't find anything conclusive, I switched to a more generic search and found something I wanted to hear. It's possible my body could be gearing up for an increase in blow flow and my blood vessels might be beginning to dilate. This can also be caused by progesterone, which apparently also relaxes and widens blood vessels. Or, maybe since I'm always so freaking hungry anymore, maybe I just had low blood sugar and it took my lunch a while to regulate things. Needless to say, I laid down for the rest of the day.

One thing is for sure though, Jake is going to be a great pregnancy baby daddy if he gets the chance. I have been snacking like crazy on Honey Nut Chex lately. Since I'm so hungry all the time, it's been impossible for me to go from meal to meal without eating something in between. I am never in the mood for fruit or veggies when I want to snack. I refuse to eat chocolate because of the caffeine (which is probably over the top but I don't care, I'm not taking any chances), and most "snacky" foods are out for me since I cut out gluten last year to help with fertility. That stuff just makes me sick now anyway. So that leaves me with gluten-free, crunchy-sweet Honey Nut Chex. I've been going through a box every few days. Not proud. But anywayyyy, after working super late in the field and coming home to do even more work on the computer, hubby stopped at Publix to pick up a few things on the way. He arrived home with not one but TWO boxes of Chex! He's the best. Now I can eat twice as much, haha. Did I mention he also did all the dishes, cooked me dinner, and worked up until bedtime? I hope I can reward all his hard work with a baby or two. ;)

Day 3 post transfer

Monday, November 24, 2014

First day on my own. Jake headed back to work today. I am not so much laying down all day anymore. I've got stuff to DO. I'm still relaxing, and for everything that I'm doing, I'm sitting down for the most part. I feel like I could be MUCH more productive without this cold. It's also making it hard for me to scrutinize how I'm feeling, since the cold has me feeling blah anyway. The progesterone is also making it impossible to figure anything out. Any pregnancy symptoms that might pop up in the next week or two will be masked by the progesterone, since it is mimicking pregnancy hormones and symptoms anyway. My boobs have been hurting ever since I started injecting it (sorry tmi), so I won't be able to gauge that. I have been extra thirsty (not sure if it's from the cold or progesterone) and all of a sudden I can't sleep through the night without waking up to pee. I was extra sleepy at night (like not being able to keep my eyes open past 8pm) leading up to the transfer (most likely from the hormones), but ever since the transfer that's gone away and I feel completely normal at night (minus the cold). Maybe it's because I'm getting a little extra sleep in the mornings and resting so much during the day. I'm also SUPER HUNGRY all the time, like as soon as I finish breakfast, I'm still hungry. After I eat lunch, I'm still hungry. After dinner, I'm still hungry. Lying in bed at night, I'm hungry. When I wake up to pee in the middle of the night, I'm hungry. I'm hungry from the second I open my eyes in the morning. If nothing else, this progesterone is just going to make me FAT. :P I've been Googling symptoms of 3 days post transfer, and I'm sure I'll continue doing that every day (4 days post, 5 days post, etc...) until our blood test. I'm still having intermittent minor cramps and little twinges. I found this table which gives a general outline of what should be happening in there.

5-Day Transfer

Days Past Transfer (DPT)	Embryo Development
One	The blastocyst begins to hatch out of its shell
Two	The blastocyst continues to hatch out of its shell and begins to attach itself to the uterus
Three	The blastocyst attaches deeper into the uterine lining, beginning implantation
Four	Implantation continues
Five	Implantation is complete, cells that will eventually become the placenta and fetus have begun to develop
Six	Human chorionic gonadotropin (hCG) starts to enter the blood stream
Seven	Fetal development continues and hCG continues to be secreted
Eight	Fetal development continues and hCG continues to be secreted
Nine	Levels of hCG are now high enough to detect a pregnancy

Since our blastocysts were already beginning to hatch at the time of transfer, I don't know if we're one day ahead on this chart or not. The hard part for me is going to be to resist testing at home once we hit day 6, 7, 8, 9 post transfer. Our blood test is not until 12 days post transfer. I feel like it would show up on a pee stick before then, if by some miracle this did happen to work. I'm just so scared of being disappointed twice. I have never seen a positive pregnancy test in my entire life. I can't even imagine the feeling.

Day 2 post transfer

Sunday, November 23, 2014

I've had the same crampy feelings today as I did yesterday. Again, I'm imagining the embryos grabbing on and trying to dig in. The Google machine tells me that this is what it feels like.

The cold still sucks. I CANNOT BREATHE. I feel like my sinuses might explode. I'm so glad we were able to start this over a weekend so that Jake could be home to take care of my whiny butt. I did read something else about it possibly being a good thing that my immune system was low at the time of transfer. I guess the rationale is that my body would be less likely to notice a foreign substance since it was otherwise occupied, and our little embryos might have a nice, quiet, undisturbed implantation. Pretty sure it was probably not from the most reliable source, but I'll take anything I can get that gives me hope.

I keep thinking, I can't believe they're actually IN there. I mean, of all the times we tried, I never knew if anything was there or not, but now they're actually IN there. It's so weird to think of. They were alive when we put them in. Are they still? I try to channel positive thoughts down to them. I put my hand where I feel the cramps and wonder if it helps or hurts or doesn't do anything at all. I don't know what they're DOING in there. Are they implanting? Are they continuing to grow? Are they fighting over the best spot in my uterus? Or are they doing nothing and it wasn't meant to be? Were they not strong enough and they won't make it? Am I imagining them implanting for nothing? I am starting to be a little terrified of our blood test on the 3rd. I am so afraid it's going to come back negative, and so afraid to hope for a positive.

Day 1 post transfer

Saturday, November 22, 2014

I am taking it easy today. Most of the day has been spent lying down. I have felt tiny crampy feelings a few times today - lasting for like 10-30 seconds. I know I am going to be hyper sensitive about every little feeling and definitely over analyze everything, but from everything that I have been continuously reading, I could be feeling the embryos beginning to implant. Every time I feel something, that's what I'm imagining is happening. Positive thinking helps, right?

My cold has gotten worse. With every sneeze, I'm sure I've blasted at least one of those guys right out of my uterus. Every time I blow my nose, I've probably rattled one loose from the wall and he has to start all over again. I'm pretty sure I can't take anything except for Tylenol, which isn't going to help. Luckily it's not a horrible cold, just the annoying kind where you can't breathe but can't stop blowing your nose either. Thanks again, germy kids.

It's Transfer Day!!!

Friday, November 21, 2014

Transfer Day!!! We can't believe it's finally here. All the waiting, the ups and downs, the excitement, the disappointment, the hoping, our big day is finally HERE. Our biggest fear right now was that our embryos would not survive the thaw and we would be left with nothing. I am constantly preparing myself for the worst. Luckily we've had all of our amazing families and friends thinking about us and praying for us, especially today.

Our appointment got pushed back to 11:45, so we made the drive to Orlando this morning and showed up with a full bladder at 11:20. They called us back a few minutes before noon and had me immediately change into my hospital gown, footies, and hair thing again. Then there was more waiting. Then Dr. Patel poked her head in, talk about a sight for sore eyes! We haven't seen her in months. We were so happy she was the doctor doing the embryo transfers today.

Then, Dr. Patel gave us a picture of our little blasties! They were so cute! All this time we've spent thinking about them and talking about them, and there they were. Just hanging out together, waiting for the next stage in their tiny little 5-day-old lives. And not only did they both survive, but they had both begun to hatch! It is necessary for them to "hatch" out of their little membranes so that they are able to attach to the uterine wall. Of course we immediately took a picture of the picture and sent it to our families. We couldn't stop staring at them (and joking about which one was Mark Eddie) as we waited to get going.

After talking about some of the details of today's procedure with the nurses, I was instructed to take my Valium (to relax the uterus) right before we were about to go in. I'll tell you what, some people must really be lightweights, because I could probably take about 4 Valium before feeling anything. I never feel any different after one. But the nurses were very concerned that I didn't get up too quickly because apparently it hits some of their patients "right away." I was like, ok and politely followed their requests like the good little patient I am. Jake and I parted ways (he got to go back into his little private viewing room to watch the procedure on TV) and then I walked into the OR and I got myself up on the table and got ready. Then, just to make sure my one Valium hadn't made me too foggy or unable to properly make decisions for myself, they had somebody come in and ask me my name and date of birth and if I was aware we were transferring two embryos today. Lol, yes.

So, for this procedure, we had big-girl stirrups. Not the kind you put your feet in, but the whole-leg kind. The nurses got me all ready and then Dr. Patel came in, ready to do her thing. The whole procedure itself is pretty much identical to an IUI (insemination), with threading the catheter through the cervix and up into the uterus, except for what they're squirting in there. Instead of just dispensing sperm and hoping for the best, we are inserting two fully fertilized and developing embryos. Two little lives that WE created. So amazing. If the IUI comparison doesn't quite paint the picture, it's actually also very similar to a pap smear. Speculum goes in, does its thing, cervix gets cleaned, then in goes the catheter. The whole time this is happening, one of the nurses was doing an external ultrasound of my uterus to help guide Dr. Patel on proper embryo placement. I got to watch this on my own screen too, as it was happening, and Jake was also watching it in the other room. I was complimented once again, by everybody in the room, about my beautiful uterus. Then a lady in scrubs came in, handed something off to Dr. Patel, and said, "Two day 5 blastocysts for transfer for Kristen Marchetti." Woo! Whatever they were in, some kind of needle I guess, went up through the catheter as we watched on the screen. Then all of a sudden, some tiny white splotches appeared on the screen as they were pushed out of the needle and safely into my nice cushiony uterus. The nurse made a little mini fist pump motion, indicating success! Then the needle and catheter were removed, the speculum taken out, and we were done! The whole process took less than 5 minutes from the time I walked into the OR.

The nurses wheeled my recovery bed up next to me and I had to transfer myself from one bed to the other. I tried my best to do this relying on arm strength alone, as I did not want to exert force from any muscles anywhere south of there. I tried keeping things very "clamped together" so nothing would fall out or get pushed out. Then they wheeled me back out into recovery, where Jake met me a minute later. He had tried to take a picture of the screen during the procedure, but the whole thing happened so quickly and he wasn't quite sure what he was taking a picture of. But then one of the nurses came out and gave us an ultrasound picture that she had snapped at the moment of transfer. There they were, a little white blob! This also immediately got sent out to our family.

They had me lay down and rest for about 15 minutes before letting me get up to go pee and change back in to my normal clothes. I asked the nurse if there was any danger of them falling out when I peed. I didn't want to have gone through all of this just to pee my babies out 15 minutes after the transfer. She explained that the walls of the uterus are like a sponge, and the liquid that the embyros were floating in would soak in. That's why they had me rest for 10-15 minutes. Then, she said the uterine wall and the embryos would act like velcro - they are chemically attracted to one another grab on and stick together. That made me feel much better. (Plus, I did some Googling later, and to add to my reassurance, I read a description of the uterine walls as touching, like if you press your hands together. There is no actual cavity or open space in there, just the potential to be if a growing baby necessitates it. So if you took a little sesame seed, and pressed it between the palms of your hands, nothing is going to make it fall out. Even if you thrash your hands around, they are still touching, and that little seed is still safely inside.)

After I peed (super slowly and carefully, ha) and changed, we were free to go. Since we were in Orlando and since it was lunch time, there was only one thing to do. I told Jake that the babies were hungry for Yellow Dog. :)

After lunch we headed home for some good quality quasi-bedrest. Our sofa bed is going to come in very handy for the next week. Everywhere I walk I do it very slowly so that I can - a) not unnecessarily use any abdominal muscles, and b) concentrate on clamping while I walk. Just for today. ;)

And now we wait.

Baby A and Baby B, hatching and ready to go!

The white spot to the right of my fingernail is our babies!

Delicious

Ouchie

Wednesday, November 19, 2014

So, remember what I said about applying heat after the progesterone injection? Yeah, definitely don't skip that step. I skipped it last night and I'm still limping today. Amazing the difference it makes. Usually right after, it feels like a pulled butt muscle and feels that way for the rest of the night. The spot of the injection is sore to the touch, like a bruise. That feeling definitely lingers no matter what. But I've realized that the whole heat step really does calm the muscle down. I will never not heat again.

Oh and more good news - came down with a cold today. GERMY KIDS. Ugh. I am not telling my doctor because I don't want anything to get in the way of our transfer!

Actual good news -  I took today off. So only one more day of work until our transfer!!!

Pre-op

Monday, November 17, 2014

Last night I stayed at my friend Katrina's house so that I would not have to get up super early and drive the 2.5 hours to Orlando this morning for my pre-op appointment. I didn't get there until about 9:00 last night, but it was nice to have a little while before bed to talk and catch up. Getting off the turnpike and driving up 192 made me very nostalgic, and I felt like I was coming home after a long time away. It felt like my normal drive home all over again. I really miss it there.

My appointment went well. I had another ultrasound and everything continues to look great. I had a different doctor today, Dr. Silva, who has done 2 of our inseminations in the past. Dr. Patel wasn't in today but she will be the doctor performing our transfer on Friday. Dr. Silva and I went over everything and then one of the nurses walked me through my instructions for the next few days as well as what will happen on the day of the procedure. I have to make sure I arrive with a full bladder so that the catheter containing the embryos can more easily be directed to the right spot in my uterus. We did a mock transfer over the summer on a full bladder and it was not the most comfortable thing, and let me tell you what a relief it was (literally) when I was allowed to go pee. But it's nothing awful, and I pretty much know exactly what to expect. I think I will actually be hesitant to pee afterwards, because I don't want our little guys to fall out!

I will continue taking my nightly progesterone injections and my estrogen injections every 3 nights until further notice. Since this is a frozen cycle and I did not ovulate, my body will not know to produce either of these (especially the progesterone) in sufficient enough quantities to support a pregnancy. If this works, I will continue taking progesterone through the first trimester until the placenta is formed enough to start producing the progesterone on its own.

After the procedure I will be on semi-bedrest while the embryos are trying to implant. I got a doctor's note to be off work for the days leading up to Thanksgiving Break. I won't be allowed to exercise (not a problem), lift stuff, go grocery shopping, wash dishes, do laundry, etc etc. Luckily I have the best husband in the world who has promised to take care of all of that stuff and does not want me to lift a finger. Whatever you say, sweetness! ;)

So I probably could have made today's appointment for whatever time I wanted, since there was no blood to be drawn, but I purposely made it as early as possible so that I could spend the rest of the day at Disney. I MISS IT SO MUCH! So after my appointment was over I headed to Downtown Disney to do some strolling and browsing and Christmas shopping. All the Christmas stuff is starting to come out, and while I know they won't be in full swing until the day after Thanksgiving, they're almost there! I spent most of the morning there before heading to the Magic Kingdom. Main Street USA looks adorable and Christmasy and I can't wait to come back when it's 100% decorated. I didn't stay for long, though, as today was not the greatest weather in Central Florida. It was overcast and started raining pretty good around 1:00, so I headed out. I have to remember that I no longer have a 15 minute drive home from my favorite place. Good thing I decided to leave right then, because a tornado watch popped up on my weather app. Great, super outta here now! I raced the storm south and east for a while, then eventually the view in my giant rearview mirror became less and less dark gray. Soon it was sunny skies and beautiful weather near the coast.

Oh - forgot to mention, a little note on progesterone injections: same needle as estrogen injections, but MUCH thicker liquid. The progesterone is in oil, and there is a lot of resistance when injecting. It takes a while to get it all out. Definitely ice first, then heat after. The ice really does help numb the skin, and the heat is necessary to help with circulation of the meds. It also makes your sore butt muscle feel a little better. Last night's injection was 0.5 mL, tonight and every night from here on out will be a full 1 mL. Tonight I get to do two butt shots, progesterone and estrogen, yayyyyyy.

Baby's first Christmas present

Christmas time!

Let's all take pictures of each other one at a time, then just stand here and look at them. :P

Baby time!

Saturday, November 15, 2014

Awesome awesome news! Yesterday at my ultrasound appointment, my lining was measuring at 12mm which is GREAT! The estrogen shots have helped me get all nice and cushy for our babies! The monitoring doctor, Dr. Moshe, indicated that my lining was trilaminar, which shows up as 3 white lines on the ultrasound, kind of making a uterus sandwich. A trilaminar lining is optimal for this stage, and most IVF clinics will not do an embryo transfer without one. This means that the estrogen has done its work and my body has responded beautifully! Side note, I've always been told at almost every ultrasound that my uterus is beautiful. It's always doing what it's supposed to be doing. Just wish the rest of my body (ahem, OVARIES) would get with the program.

So when I talked to the nurse last night, she said there was an issue with the results that Dr. Moshe's office faxed to them yesterday - all the images came out black. Dr. Patel needed to see them, because if the lining really was trilaminar, then she would want to bring me in Monday for my pre-op and then do the procedure on Friday! The nurse asked if I knew if the office was open on Saturdays, and if I could possibly get a hold of the ultrasound images so that Dr. Patel could take a look at them. If not, we would have to wait until Monday for the results, and we'd have to push the pre-op back to Friday and the procedure to next Monday. Well, that lit a fire under me, because of two things: 1) Getting the results to them sooner means that we get to put our babies back in me sooner, and 2) The sooner we get everything scheduled, the more work I get to miss. Hehe.

I could not get a hold of the office over the phone, so this morning we took a little drive down to Boca to see if anyone was there. Luckily, they must have had a procedure scheduled, because the doctor and a nurse were there. We got the images emailed directly to Dr. Patel right then and there. Not 30 minutes later we got a call from the nurse - we are good to go! Pre-op will be Monday morning at 8:45 and our procedure is scheduled for Friday the 21st at 11a.m. Woohoo!

No school Monday, no school (and transfer!!!) Friday, hopefully doctor's note for next Mon/Tues, then Thanksgiving break! Things worked out perfectly. :)

Tomorrow morning's Lupron shot will be my very last one, and tomorrow night I got to start my progesterone injections. We are so excited to get to move forward! We're in the home stretch, finally!

My beautiful trilaminar lining

Happy Veterans Day

Tuesday, November 11, 2014

No school today! Thank you veterans for all of your sacrifice!

Not much to report today, except that it's been 3 days since my anti-climactic first estrogen shot, and today is my next dose. Except we are doubling the dose from 0.2 mL to 0.4 mL. Things were MUCH easier this time, and I didn't even cry. :) Next ultrasound appointment is on Friday.

Booty shots

Saturday, November 8, 2014

Ok, so I did NOT know that the estrogen shots were booty shots. These ones are done in the evening between 6:00-8:00, so before dinner I was calmly sorting through my box of meds for the estrogen vial and accompanying needles. That's when I saw that the box said INTRAMUSCULAR injection instead of subcutaneous injection like my Lupron. I took out the directions to read through them, just in case, to make sure I was doing this one right. The directions were telling me butt shot. What the hell!!!! I was not ready for this. I didn't think I had to do butt shots until I started progesterone. I was so afraid of doing it wrong, of jabbing the wrong spot, of hitting the bone, etc. I watched a few YouTube videos, most of which were unhelpful, then I found one of a girl actually giving herself the shot. I watched it like 10 times out of fear and procrastination.

Technically, it's easier if someone does the shot for you. But this was not something I was willing to give up control of. I want to control the pain, the jab, how long it takes to get the whole needle in, how quickly I dispense the medication. Plus, if Jake did it for me, he would probably be afraid he was hurting me the whole time. He would not be a good shot-giver. These needles are an inch and a half long, and THICK.

So I watched the video a few more times. I did several pump fakes, like okay this is it, coming really close to puncturing my skin, then pulling back in tears. I was being such a baby. Finally I said to myself, "This is for our babies." I thought of our two little blastocysts, chilling in the lab, waiting for us to become their parents. Then I did it.

I was imagining this to be 1,000 times worse than it actually was. Yes, it hurt a little when it first went in, but I had iced the area the entire time I was procrastinating, so my skin was pretty numb. Once it poked through, the rest of the needle slid in pretty easily and it didn't really hurt anymore. I did it REALLY slowly, like the big baby I am, until it was pretty much all the way in. I felt some extra resistance and a little extra jab once it was about 3/4 of the way in. It was probably hitting a secondary layer of muscle or something, but of course I was like, Oh my God I hit the bone, and was afraid to push it any further. I pushed the plunger slowly and let all the meds come out at my own pace. Once the plunger was all the way down, I pulled the needle out, and I was done! The fear is always so much worse than the reality.

To give you a visual: my cute little Lupron needle, and my big fat estrogen and progesterone needles.

Moving forward!

Friday, November 7, 2014

Today is Lupron day 9. At this morning's ultrasound appointment, the doctor said everything looked great. But I always have to wait for the results to be sent over to our doctor in Orlando, and then they call me and tell me what it all means and what they want me to do next. When I talked to the nurse this evening, we had good news! She said everything was BEAUTIFUL, and we can start estrogen injections tomorrow! Woooohoooo! This means it's uterus cushioning time! I will also continue my Lupron injections every morning like I've been doing. The estrogen injections will only be every 3rd night, so I will only have to do double shots every few days. We're excited!

No more BC!

Monday, November 3, 2014

Last day of birth control! I hate those stupid things. We are now on Lupron day 5. I have an appointment on Friday for another ultrasound. Fingers crossed they will let us move on to the next step!

Time to start meds!

Thursday, October 30, 2014

Happy 10th Anniversary Lauren and Tommy! (you're old.)

Today we officially started our meds! We had been on a slight delay because of my ultrasound results on the 15th. My stupid endometriosis is back in full force in my left ovary and being a big a-hole. I had surgery last December to have it removed, but since taking all the fertility meds in the last several months, it's back with a vengeance. It's kind of like a big cyst (actually called an endometrioma) and is about 2.5cm. Ugh. Our doctor had wanted me to stay on the birth control for an additional 2 weeks to try and shrink it. We've attempted this shrinking game before, with no luck, so I was not very hopeful. So needless to say, when I saw the exact same endometrioma measurements pop up on yesterday's ultrasound, my heart sank. However, when the nurse called last night, she said everything looks great and I can start shooting myself up again! Woo!

The medication I am taking right now is called Lupron, and it basically shuts down my reproductive system. No ovulation, no anything. The doctor needs to have complete control over things in that region so that we can create the ideal environment for our little embryos. So over the next few weeks, I will be giving myself a 6 a.m. shot every day. This is nothing new, with all of the shots I had to do over the summer. This is by far the easiest injection, just a tiny little needle in my belly. Most days I don't even feel it. I am however NOT looking forward to the progesterone shots next month. Those needles seem huge compared to these ones!

Our IVF - backlog

I thought I would use this as an outlet to document our little IVF journey. This is so that our family and friends can stay updated on all we're going through and maybe get a little further explanation of some of the things we've talked about. Also, if this whole thing works, it will be nice to have our story out there somewhere. Not only for us to have, but maybe someone else who's going through this might stumble across our blog and this might offer some kind of help, support, comfort, whatever.

We did the bulk of our IVF treatments over the summer, with the intention of also transferring the embryos at that time. I did weeks of daily injections, which weren't that bad at all. Just grab a little belly chunk and jab it in. The one that made me mass produce eggs kind of stung, but it was over quickly. Of course I imagined the worst case scenario the entire time and over-analyzed every little thing. I was convinced I was having all kinds of side effects and that my heart might explode (I had had some minor heart issues this year, completely different story). I was terrified I was going to get something called Ovarian Hyperstimulation Syndrome and have to go into the hospital and everything would be ruined and I might possibly die. OHSS is something where your ovaries get too stimulated and swell up and basically try to kill you. So naturally it was going to happen to me. It didn't. And my heart never blew up. I was completely fine.

My body was slow to make good eggs (surprise, surprise) and we had to stimulate for slightly longer than we had planned. We already know from bloodwork that my egg quality sucks and that my egg reserve is low. Awesome. So I guess that, along with my natural slowness, is what took my ovaries the extra few days of stimulation. I had been taking DHEA for a couple of months to try and help with that issue, so I imagine without it things would have been even worse.

When I had one egg go over 20mm, our doctor had me trigger ovulation. The other eggs weren't quite ready, but she didn't want me to ovulate on my own and lose that lead egg along with all the others. So she had me administer the hCG injection that night to induce ovulation, and we scheduled my egg retrieval for 36 hours later. Game time.

We went in to the office at 11 a.m. two days later, the morning of the retrieval. I had done all the surgery "prep" as in nothing to eat or drink, come in sweats, blah blah blah. They got me suited up in my cute little hospital robe, footies, and hair net thing. Got my IV started and just waited. When it was time, they had Jake go in to a special private viewing room where he was able to watch the procedure on a TV screen. I had to walk myself to the OR, wheeling my little IV bags with me, which was kind of weird. I had to get myself on the table and everything. Laid down and put my butt where they told me to and waited for my drugs. That part is always fun. ;)

Next thing I knew I was waking up and the anesthesiologist was telling me they got 11 eggs! They thought they had 10 at first but then they found another little guy. I was pretty happy considering I didn't have too many that looked mature at my last ultrasound. Jake came back and showed me the video he took of the video of the procedure. It was pretty cool. They had this little tool and it just looked like it was sucking the eggs out one by one.

After a short recovery we were sent home and I relaxed for the rest of the day. We waited anxiously for a call from the nurse to let us know the status of the fertilization. That news, when it came, was kind of eh. But it also explained a lot. Of the 11 eggs, 10 survived to fertilization. I guess that last little one wasn't meant to be. Of the 10 we had left, they split them in to two groups: 6 in one and 4 in the other. For the 6, they just put them in a petri dish with the sperm and let them go at it. For the other 4, they did something called Intra-Cytoplasmic Sperm Injection (ICSI), where they manually inject one sperm into each egg. All 10 eggs fertilized. However, in the group of 6, none of them fertilized normally and would not survive. Of our 4 that had ICSI, 3 of them fertilized normally. That basically tells us that we have a big problem with fertilization, probably stemming from my sucky eggs. Apparently they are fertilizing on their own, but they're not fertilizing normally and never survive past a day or two. Who knows how many times that has happened without us knowing. So anyway, in a matter of a day, we had gone from 11 eggs to just 3 embryos. Yikes. Then we were told that only 2 of them seemed to be growing normally. So make that 2. Looks like this is our only shot, folks.

We were tentatively planning on doing a fresh transfer once the doctors had a chance to watch the embryos for a few days. Embryo quality diminishes quickly within the first few days and many of them do not survive. The goal is to make it to day 5. At day 5, the embryos are at the blastocyst stage, meaning that they have divided enough times and are now a ball of cells that have formed into 2 distinct ways. There is an inner cell mass, which will eventually become the developing fetus, and the outer cell mass, which will make up the cells of the placenta. So on day 5 we got the call: our 2 little embryos were dividing and developing and growing normally and made it to the blastocyst stage! However, since we had stimulated for a couple of extra days, our doctor was concerned that my uterine lining was beginning to pass its prime. She did not want to transfer the embryos into an environment that was not the very best it could be. So, we made the decision to freeze the 2 baby blastocysts and wait until next month so that we could do the transfer after we create the perfect uterine environment, so to speak. This was a little disheartening, mostly because we both  HATE waiting, but we realized that this was for the best. No sense on putting them back in if my lining is not in its optimal state. And we've waited this long, what's another month..... although that's so much easier said than done.

After finding out we were moving to South Florida, we kind of put our embryo transfer "on hold" until we could get settled. After being here for a few weeks, we finally felt ready to start the process again. We knew it would be almost 2 months from this point until we would actually be going in for the transfer anyway, since it involves weeks of birth control and injected medications. So I called our doctor in Orlando at the end of September and told her we were ready to continue! She had me start the birth control on September 29th so that we could begin to regulate things. Then I had to do some Googling to find a doctor down here that I could go to for my monitoring appointments for my ultrasounds and bloodwork. As much as I would love to see our doctor for all of our appointments, going back and forth to Orlando once or twice a week would not be ideal, as it is about 2.5 hours each way. Our doctor, Dr. Patel, is AMAZING and we've loved her from our very first meeting almost 2 years ago. The nurses are all fantastic and super nice as well, and I love the lady who always draws my blood. She seems to hate being at work as much as I do, but she's so good at her job and I think she's hilarious. Her sarcasm and cynicism always makes my morning. I really miss getting to see her on a weekly basis. But anywayyyy, I found a small place in Boca Raton that seemed to be used to taking monitoring patients. It has worked out very well for us so far. Our embryos are frozen in Orlando, so we will get to go back there for the transfer. I think about them all the time! I hope they're doing ok and keeping each other company.